porch readers

this summer i have been committed to not turning on the tv, not really watching much of anything...not even movies. i have committed myself to reading. and read i have done. i had no idea, however, that the books i chose to read for the summer had a genre all their own. "porch readers they are called", says my friendly librarian from the tiny branch i frequent. "books that have no place in the world of debate." they are just mostly happy, mostly funny, mostly easily read and are vogue to read until about october, when the weather cools and one wants a meatier subject along with meatier food and meatier drink. i was happy to hear i wasn't just wasting time. that the books i've read and will continue to read until october are actually accepted! so i don't have to be embarrased when someone asks, "what are you reading these days?" and i reply "shopaholic", "the yoga mamas", "imaginary man" and "can you keep a secret?". i can sink in my cushy chair (possibly the porch swing), sip on my iced tea, and read one porch reader a week!

there and coming soon

the coffeeshop rocks! brutopia has a great first two weeks. all that crazy, hard work is paying off. we already have "regulars". the coffee is amazing. i think i'm addicted. we also have organic smoothies, simple lunches and a few muffin/scone/cookie offerings.

gratisfest is in two weeks! the website will be up today or tommorow.

surreal

this week has been. as a homeschooler, i am rarely without my five kids in tow. however, this week, avery and cora are at drama camp every day from 9:30-2:30. aidan has been skateboarding at the local skate park and having sleepovers at other friends houses. i am left with just my smaller kids. one of which naps a good bit and one who plays with neighbor friends a good bit. SO, i am experiencing what it would be like to have them away from me. i'm fine with the idea of someone else teaching them math, science, history, language arts. i'm fine with them developing friendships. i'm fine with the general idea of school. what i've had a hard time thinking about is who comforts them if they get hurt? or sad? or mad? when they are with me all day, i'm here for them. the school work will happen. they will learn. they will also have had the experience of having two adults in their life to run to. they have so much time to grow up. why should they have to now? i think i've realized that for me, this is the why of homeschool. it's not that i think i can give them a superior education ( i probably can't). it's not that i want them sheltered ( they've learned most of the bad words from me). it's not that i want to control them (i've learned that it's insane to try to control your kids...they have that thing called a "MIND").
it's that i want to be the one to put a bandaid on their wounds. i want to eat lunch with them. i want to hear their silly jokes. i want to be driven part crazy by their arguements. i want my house to be noisy all day. i want to see their eyes light up when they "get" some idea. these are the reasons i homeschool. so, my kids being gone this week has been surreal. strange. not the norm.

babywise

recently a friend had a post about this book and others, but this book stood out for me mostly and i left a comment on my distaste for this book. i decided i still had more to say about it and i feel the need to get it off my chest. when this book first came out my 12 year old son was a baby. our church was doing a sunday school class on it. i was a little interested so i read the materials. i was floored. mr. ezzo claimed that if you did not follow his schedule with your newborn baby, said baby would grow up to have major discipline issues, be prone to evil like stealing and doing drugs. this was my first warning sign. the second was my friend who was trying it with her 9 mth old, left him in his crib to cry and he ended up with bruises on his head from banging it on the side of his crib. mr. ezzo and the rest of the sunday school class would determine that this was a strong will that needed to be tamed. i determined it was abuse and told my friend to STOP! till her boy was about 3, he wanted to fall asleep holding her hand. needless to say, she didn't try that method with anymore of her kids. the other thing that shocked me was feeding a breastfed baby on a schedule. this is just not possible. well, it is if you want your milk to dry up anywhere from 6-9 months. if you choose to breastfeed your baby, i feel it completely neccessary to tell you to demand feed....especially when they are newborns. this is the ONLY way to build up your milk supply. if you feed on a schedule, your milk supply will not be built up to its fullest extent and when you start to feed solids and your baby doesn't nurse as much, your milk supply will diminish. breastfeeding on demand is hard. it's time consuming. you feel like you should just walk around without a shirt on. your body does not feel like your own. BUT it is the best thing. breastmilk digests way faster than formula. scheduled feedings are for formula fed babies. if you are commited to breastfeeding then demand feeding is the was to go.

i did learn the hard way. with my second son, i did decide to try more of a schedule. i tried to go 2 1/2-3 hours before nursing him. when i look back, i feel so sad. at about 9 mths, he decided to wean. and i have to wonder how hungry i let him be the first few months of his little life.the rest of my babies have all nursed until they were way older which, I think, benefits them even more. with the rest of my kids, i just fed them when they wanted. i didn't worry about any kind of feeding schedule. as they get older, they fall into a natural schedule.

i do have to admit one positive thing about babywise. he does explain the sleep cycle. that is very helpful. the book i can give great comments on is the "no-cry sleep solution". i feel like it is the answer for parents craving sleep, yet not willing to hear their babies cry. i used it with elias from the beginning. actually, she says to start when the baby is one month old. when they are newborns, they are so sporadic. she does follow a sleeptime schedule or routine, but she believes in demand feeding and even shared sleeping. she is a firm believer in NOT letting your baby cry it out and this is why i think her method along with demand feeding is truly the best way to go. elias is now one, still nurses, sleeps in his own crib, in his own room and i can nurse him for a little bit, then just lay him in his bed and tell him goodnight. this absolutely amazes me! he's not cried it out at all and has a great sleep and go to bed habit.

okay, that's all from me. if you are a new parent and you are breastfeeding. get support. go to la leche. find other moms who are breastfeeding. have someone else hold your baby when you are not nursing. i'm sure i've offended. i hate offending. i'm a people pleaser for the most part but when it comes to babies and breastfeeding and schedule and whatnot, i have a hard time keeping my mouth shut!

by the way, the coffeeshop is officially open!

moved and shaken

the miracle of birth always amazes me. when i hear birth stories and of new babes joining us in this life, i can't help to remember my own. the beautiful days that my lovely children made their entrances into this world. aidan was the first. born at home on a really hot summer day in june. i was shellshocked. i had no clue how hard it would be and staggered that in just a few hours forgot how it felt. avery was the second. born at home on a really cold winter day in january. i was weary. it took 25 hours of labor for him to finally decide to come. i just wanted to snuggle in my bed with him and SLEEP! cora was the third. born at home on a really hot summer day in june. i almost had her in the neighbors yard (we were on a walk). we made it home and she came very easy, aidan watched and i was very happy to have a little girl. isabel was the fourth. born at home on a day in february when we thought there might be a blizzard. aidan, avery and cora all witnessed her birth and when we found out she was a girl, cora said "we MUST paint her nails!". she was tiny and i felt like heaven. elias was the fifth. born at home on a mild spring day in may. i knew i was in labor and did all the laundry, then went to eat indian food. the midwife arrived about 45 minutes before he was born with about 14 people in my bedroom experiencing the most wondrous thing ever. he looked like a small version of my hubby. the joy that is in a room after a baby is born is truly shocking. the power of love is so thick. it's sort of addictive. and then you get to keep them. raise them. watch them ebb and flow with the changes of life. see them turn into sweet children, obnoxious teenagers, and then adults. how crazy is this? that we have this power? that these little beings who grow inside of us learn to someday live without us? can they EVER live without us? when they are little it seems not. when they hold your face in their chubby little hands and proclaim you "the BESTEST mommy EVER!" it seems they will remain that way forever. we sometmes want them to remain that way forever. but, sigh, they cannot. we always have their births. there are many things i may forget, just God help me to never forget their births. those days are entangled into my soul. a deep, deep place that ties me to them. that reminds me on those other days, when i want to ship them off.....that they are mine. their eyes, their lips, their hair, their freckles, their ears..and all of them...are one part me, one part my hubby and one part God. THAT's what keeps me sane.