IF anyone reads this anymore!
the bats were gone, then came back. i also just heard from a friend about an entire small town that was infested with bats.....for about 8 years now. every house. they are petitioning the government to allow them to kill the bats. i guess they've done everything and nothing works. the bats have an amazing ablity to get back in where their "home" is. isnt' that lovely. anyone want to buy a house!!
life is busy. thus no entries. hopefully ang will put me back on her list.:)
our house that we live in never sold. so, we're staying for a little while. it's really hard to live somewhere where you don't really think you're supposed to OR really want to. our house is big. that's a good thing. the yard is nice. that's a good thing. we live in a school district that allows part time enrollment for homeschoolers. that's a good thing. BUT we have no great friends nearby. that's a bad thing. especially for people who preach about living in community with others. we're trying to reach out to our neighbors. my closest friend on the street is a 60ish woman who babysits her grandkids two days a week. isabel and her granddaughter are best buds. beyond that, our neighborhood is fairly quiet. very hard to get to know anyone. it almost seems that people are content to be to themselves.
i think i'm just learning to be where i am. which is a very hard lesson for someone who has their funeral planned. it seems that i keep having these plans for us and then i look at my oldest son and say "where the HELL did the last 12 1/2 years go!". i mean, he's growing up and i'm planning and hoping for something BIG to happen. i think i'm realizing that he and my other kids are the BIG. it's still hard. i just don't feel like we fit in the life we've ended up in. i mean, mostly the neighborhood we've ended up in. but at this point, i'm not exactly sure how to change it....especially when our house sat on the market for three months with only about 6 people looking at it! anyway, maybe it is the plan...to get me to stop planning.
i've been thinking alot about vineyard central and missing the people there. we've been going to a presbyterian church up the road. it's close, we have a few friends there, i'm singing in the worship thing, and they have a great kids thing happening. BUT there are things about it that i'm not sure i'm ready for. like becoming members. like having to pay for "extras"...like the choir club my kids are in. or the advent crafty kids party. i think that's weird. it's also fairly stiff. which i'm not used to. the people are great. and i love the mix. there are alot of older folks in their suits hanging with the younger ones in jeans. i've not once felt judged or out of place because i dress down and have a piercing. that's cool.
but i still miss vineyard central. i'm trying to decide if it's the memory that i miss or what. my husband thinks one should attend a church meeting in their own neighborhood so to drive over to norwood would be odd. BUT, the people we seem to identify with are there. what to do. i feel mostly stuck. i thought our house would sell and the the perfect house in the perfect place would become clear. that did not happen. i feel as though God is enjoying this silence. wow, i think i just realized that maybe in the silence is where i can find my hope. the lesson i'm supposed to learn is just that. my house didn't sell because i am in the perfect house in the perfect place for now. for now. not yesterday. not tommorow. for right now. okay, i have to go rest in my revelation.....
