moved and shaken

the miracle of birth always amazes me. when i hear birth stories and of new babes joining us in this life, i can't help to remember my own. the beautiful days that my lovely children made their entrances into this world. aidan was the first. born at home on a really hot summer day in june. i was shellshocked. i had no clue how hard it would be and staggered that in just a few hours forgot how it felt. avery was the second. born at home on a really cold winter day in january. i was weary. it took 25 hours of labor for him to finally decide to come. i just wanted to snuggle in my bed with him and SLEEP! cora was the third. born at home on a really hot summer day in june. i almost had her in the neighbors yard (we were on a walk). we made it home and she came very easy, aidan watched and i was very happy to have a little girl. isabel was the fourth. born at home on a day in february when we thought there might be a blizzard. aidan, avery and cora all witnessed her birth and when we found out she was a girl, cora said "we MUST paint her nails!". she was tiny and i felt like heaven. elias was the fifth. born at home on a mild spring day in may. i knew i was in labor and did all the laundry, then went to eat indian food. the midwife arrived about 45 minutes before he was born with about 14 people in my bedroom experiencing the most wondrous thing ever. he looked like a small version of my hubby. the joy that is in a room after a baby is born is truly shocking. the power of love is so thick. it's sort of addictive. and then you get to keep them. raise them. watch them ebb and flow with the changes of life. see them turn into sweet children, obnoxious teenagers, and then adults. how crazy is this? that we have this power? that these little beings who grow inside of us learn to someday live without us? can they EVER live without us? when they are little it seems not. when they hold your face in their chubby little hands and proclaim you "the BESTEST mommy EVER!" it seems they will remain that way forever. we sometmes want them to remain that way forever. but, sigh, they cannot. we always have their births. there are many things i may forget, just God help me to never forget their births. those days are entangled into my soul. a deep, deep place that ties me to them. that reminds me on those other days, when i want to ship them off.....that they are mine. their eyes, their lips, their hair, their freckles, their ears..and all of them...are one part me, one part my hubby and one part God. THAT's what keeps me sane.