i know, i know, i know

it's been a long time. i'm not keeping up with the blogging thing very well. does anyone besides me wake up every now and then and want to buy tickets to ireland that minute? or move to california that day? today was one of those days. i wanted to just pack up and move to a warmer, sunnier, non-humid place in the world. not say goodbye, just leave! is that weird? it's not out of depression or anything like that...it comes from needing some kind of adventure, something out of the norm, wanting to travel.. hopefully we're gonna buy that camper in the spring!

so, for those of you who don't know.....we're having another kid! yep, number 5. i guess that's an adventure in itself. around may....look for another bald headed strasser baby. we are all excited. the kids love it. i worry about having enough time for each of them, but when i ask them if any of them feel left out emotionally, the answer is always NO! they want a house full. kids just like kids
and i think they feel that the more there is the better it is. not that we're going to fill our house, i think i'm getting too OLD to keep having babies. but, as my midwives say "never say never, unless you're willing to DO something about it!"
DUH!

we still are not into a church thing. my kids keep asking when we're going to church. we try to explain that church isn't a place, it's people. but when you don't live in a community of people who you interact with daily, it's sort of hard to get that concept across. they really want to "go" to church. frankly, so do i sometimes. i just hate the search. indiana seems too far (30 minutes). big vineyard seems too big. house church seems too hard to do with 4 kids. AAARGH! am i just making excuses or what? do we just need to pick one and commit no matter how hard it is? i know, for those of you who know me, this is getting TOO old. how long have i been lamenting over it? a long time. there's no answer really. i don't expect lots of comments with advice, i just needed to get it out there. i'm not wanting to read the purpose driven life, but sometimes i feel life has no purpose, other than meeting my own family's needs, going to kid sporting events....etc. i keep thinking there should be something bigger. i feel like we've always been on the brink of "something" and been too afraid to go for it. i feel like our lives have been on hold. in limbo. waiting.

at least to day is SUNNY! life IS good. i do love my family and i am content in that area. i think i will not be so introspective today.